How Do We Keep Our Relationships Together?

Well I find myself wondering how is it I am with the SAME person after two year? Well this is going to be a very short blog here but I find myself growing together with him. We are two separate people but at the same time we are one. We grow as one but as two individuals. I've learned that I freak out too much. He's learned he checks out too much sometimes. And bring it all together and we learn from each other and are becoming stronger more independent people day by day. I guess the point I'm making is remember to take a step back and look at your relationship from an outside perspective. Spend time around other friends that are in relationships and learn from their mistakes. And look at what is failing in their relationships and see how you would fix in in THEIR relationship and then translate it into something useful for your situation. Your friends relationships are perfect? BULL SHIT! There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. You just get snowed over too easily. Look deep. ask questions. I suggest looking at your friends relationships for a reason. They're going to tell you things that your partner wouldn't tell you. That's how you learn.

Quick Update!

Hi guys! I apologize It has been over a month since my last update. I was out of town, had the flu, was dealing with a few business problems and now I think life is starting to return to normal and I will be updating this again more frequently like I had originally intended. Thank you all for your support and I am so sorry for getting brought down for a while.

Update! Sorry For The Silence!

Hey guys! Well as some of you may or may not know I make my living online and my entire computer crashed and so it took me a full 2 days to just get everything reinstalled and recover what I could of my files. So I have not had any time to be updating but what I have been working on obtaining is some safer sex information because I think it's everywhere but we don't ever read it or listen to it in a fun fashion and so I am working on getting some of the materials from one of the organizations I used to be a part of. Also what I'm going to give you guys while I'm currently working on getting this stuff together is for your patience (and just for reading the blog as my thank you to you) I am going to give you guys either a free vacation certificate (where you only pay taxes) or $250 in gas rebates (just send in your receipts) as my way of saying thank you and I have directions on how to do that for you (I suggest the second option as it is easy) and remember you don't need any kind credit card for the second option so you'll get it for FREE :-) you can go to http://linkcloak.com/KQ1 to claim it. And again I am working on putting together a safer sex post too so once I get everything put back together we'll be good!

-Josh

If You Seek Amy - The Video

Ok I know this isn't exactly relevant to this blog but... The new Britney Video is out and I want to share it with you all!

Dating!!!

Dating seems to be everyone's favorite subject these days! I hear people all the time talking about how they want to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend but they don't know where to meet them or they always see the same people on downelink or A4A or any other sites. That is why I would suggest FriendSearch. FriendSearch is a site for gay lesbian bisexual heterosexual try sexual and every sexuality under the sun.  It's a melting pot and it is free to sign up for too!  So if you're looking to date someone or meet some people for a possibility to date I suggest signing up on this website.

Have any other ideas for dating sites? We'd love to hear about them!

Also alot of people who read the Gay Insights blog spend alot of time online.  If any of you are interested in getting a free shopping website that you can earn money on then let me know and I can help set you up with it! 

Get Involved!

Hi everyone! As my new business progressed the busier I am becoming.  That is why I am opening up the open forum for questions and answers.  I am asking all the readers to submit subjects they want touched on and questions they want answered! If you want to remain anonymous sen an email to keep your privacy!  Thanks guys!

Josh

Quick Post!

Hey everyone! I apologize for not updating.  I have been extremely busy with work and have not had a chance to write much but I did want to take a few minutes out to thank everyone for their support of the Gay Insight Blog and I have gotten nothing but positive feedback and I appreciate that so much!  And it seems that we are starting to get a dedicated base of readers so thank you so much for that!  Please comment on some of the entries so I know who you guys are!  And remember if you have a subject that you would like to be touched on then please send it as an email to askmrjamison@yahoo.com or just leave it as a comment!  

Again thank you guys your readership means so much to me!

Josh

Houses In The Queer Comunity.

Houses in the Queer community.  Are they as accepting as they seem?  I myself have been a part of two houses in the past and was even one of the founding members of one house.  I have noticed they have seemed to take the gay community by storm on the west coast this past year or so.  Formerly a majority east coast gays only, it has expanded all the way to Sacramento, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and even up to Seattle.

So I think almost everyone in the gay community knows what a house is but just to clarify if you haven't here is a loose definition. "A family unit of LGBT people, often comprised of individuals who have experienced some form of family rejection (including homelessness) or those that merely seek guidance and mentoring from more experienced LGBT people. Houses are usually led by a house mother or father and the kids of the house sometimes carry the last name of the house founder." 

So now that you know what it is, it generally sounds like a good idea right?  Well it is a great idea but most ideas all sound great in theory.  I have noticed that first of all in the house communities if you are not some sort of minority then they don't want you in their house.  Now this is not true for all houses but for a majority of them.  Second of all is that most of the house parents and other officers of the houses are still at an immature point in their life and are not fit to be helping out others going through hard times.  Third is that most houses require you to pay dues to be a part of the house and if you are going through issues and hardships would adding another financial obligation be prudent for helping out others?  I doubt it.

Now that I have pointed out the negative points I would like to say that is not true of all houses.  There are some upstanding houses in the community that do not have dues, that have been established by people who are truly devoted to helping the community and those in it and would like to make this world a better place.  These houses are few and far between and so it can take some time to find those.  What would my suggestions be to you?

1. Find a house on your own.  Don't join a house where they are recruiting.  That just means that they are in their beginning stages and don't offer much support at all and the leadership is very questionable.

2. Make sure that you research your house before you join it or even apply.  Check out youtube to see some of their battles and there will be a ton of comments.  Also most houses have a downelink page and a myspace page so search them out on there as well.

3. Make sure you make your decisions from your research, not from what a member of the house is telling you.  As humans we always speak greatly of things we are a part of.  It's part of our flawd design.

I hope that little bit of insight helped you guys today and don't forget to find me on Yuwie and watch some of the videos on our youtube bar for the latest GLBTQI videos out right now!  And also if you are looking into a good MATURE dating website check out some of the sponsers as well.  They are great alternatives to eHarmony.com and some others. 

New Feature and Next Entry!

Hey guys! Just a quick update!  Well tonight I'm going to be working on the next blog and it might be done tonight or it might be done tomorrow and it is going to be about Houses in the LGBTQI community. 

Also a new video feature!  I added a video bar on the side so if you want to check out some of the videos on there from different LGBTQI Themed channels!  I hope you guys like it and remember to send in suggestions for subjects or questions you want answered to askmrjamison@yahoo.com

Thank you to all of my readers!!  And remember to check out some of the sponsor sites! Some of them are pretty useful! :-) 

Josh

Getting Involved

I'm just going to jump into this subject about how to get involved in your community.  A huge misconception is that it is boring to get involved or that it requires a lot of work but the reality is that can't be further from the truth.  Some people are made to volunteer and some people are designed to just donate money and other people are neither but YOU can still make a difference if you don't fit into the first two categories.

First off a great way to get involved is call the LGBTQI center near you possibly on your campus (you don't have to be a student to be involved at the university LGBTQI activities).  I've seen GSA, GLBU, Pride Center, Q Youth, LGBT Unite, and other similar names so just look for those.  Search for a Gay And Lesbian Alliance Center in your city or nearest big city if you have no luck in your city.  Those centers will usually have a connection to every "Queer group" around the area.  So whether your trans, gay, bi, lesbian, questioning, or intersex, you will find a group for you.

Once you find these groups start attending!  I'd say 95% of the GALA Centers and their smaller organizations within get state and local funding to support them and the more attendance they have the more funding they'll have in the future.  I've attended a few groups that I didn't exactly completely connect with or enjoy going to but the one thing that could keep me going is 1) I'd always make at least 1 or 2 friends.  2) They generally involve free food and beverages.  And 3) These groups lead to other connections that will help you strive as an individual.

Another way to get involved is to actually volunteer at your local GALA, ASN (Aids Support Network), Pride Center, or any other LGBTQI non-profit organization.  Most of these organizations are kept alive purely by volunteers.  And you can do things from just sit there and answer phones (which is great for students who have homework because you can bring your homework with you and answer the phone every once in a while) or you can man phone banks when there are important issues around (like prop 8) or even get involved in leadership for certain groups.

One group I've been a part of is called Fusion and it is in San Luis Obispo, CA.  That group has helped me to make some amazing life long friends, make a difference in my community, grow as an individual, and let loose and have a lot of fun!  If you are in your 20's then this is the best time to get involved because you will have an amazing time doing it!

I hope these few basic instructions help you guys get involved and if you have any issues finding a center in your area and are interested in getting involved or maybe want to hear about other ways feel free to email me at askmrjamison@yahoo.com and I'd love to help you out!

Josh

Gay Resources

Hey there guys! Apologies for my not writing yesterday.  I was just so busy that I fell behind!  What I wanted to give you guys were a few links to some different gay networking sites where you can meet and chat with other people that identify with you.

Manhunt -The first one here is Manhunt.   It is mainly a hook up site but it does allow you to chat with people and meet guys from all walks of life.  Not exactly my favorite website but it does have it's advantages.

Adam4Adam- Secondly I have Adam4Adam here.  I think that Adam4Adam is one of the better websites for gay males.  It is based around hooking up but you will find a lot of really amazing people here to chat with and a lot of people looking for strictly Platonic relationships with friends.  Although if group sex, kinks, misc. fetishes, or dates are what you are looking for this site has it all.  Although there is not a gender option for this site it seems to be moderately trans friendly for the Trans-Guys'.  I would like to note for both this site and Manhunt to always engage in safe sex if you do choose to have casual sex with members on this website.  Remember that although you may be truthful about your HIV Status not everyone else is and there are other things out there besides just HIV.  Remember to wrap it up and play safe guys!

Downelink- Downelink which is now partnered with LOGO is like a gay myspace.  It has come a long way from when it first came out.  The home page will show the first few Missed Connections posted which is generally a bulletin board but from time to time you will see a missed connection from someone in your home city.  They also show the most recent blogs, a friends bulletin however they have no friend ordering feature.  They are in order from newest to oldest friends.  And although it is imitating myspace they have no built in music player as of now but they do have a videos section and they post video links on your home page so you can view some of the hottest videos out from LOGO!

Butch-Femme- This is simply put a real life community for the Lesbian Butch-femme community.  Although I am not a lesbian myself some of my dearest friends are and I hear them talk about this website all the time and it has articles, chats, forums, and is a normal online community.  If you are a Lesbian or Trans-Girl I would highly recommend checking out a membership on this page.

Planet Out - The parent company to Gay.com and a multitude of other smaller gay themed websites.  To me planet out is over done and in it's final stages of life.  They DO have some good articles on there however lack much sustenance to keep you entertained.  I would suggest going to gay.com to chat and meet with people.

Gay.com- Gay.com is a great chat website.  They have some gripping articles and are constantly updating their site.  Their personals are alright but leave a lot to be desired.  They recently updated their chat codes so you can only use their JAVA chat via their website and you are only allowed one chat room at a time for the free memberships.  You have your own name@gay.com email address when you sign up and you have unlimited chat time (as long as it's in one room) and an unlimited amount of private messages.  You can have a photo gallery but you can only view the primary picture if you don't pay for the membership (so keep in mind to put your best picture first)  All in all this is a good website but watch out because it can suck you in.

D-List- Another "Gay Myspace" website.  They have a featured members section which always has a lot of hotties on it for you to meet.  They have an "I'm interested" button if you don't quite know what to say but you wanna say "Hi".  You can build a profile, put music on it, post your own videos and it allows public and private videos.  All in all it's a good website that is easy to navigate.

XY- A community with personals and news and music.  Not the best site in the world but I would recommend it for people in High School or maybe first year of College.  Cool people on the site and over all I'd recommend checking it out!  Starting paid memberships soon though!

Mogenic- A Gay resource site for gay teens.  You can chat, make profiles, meet people, and ask questions (although I personally think you should ask them here) but it is a good site for people just coming out or that are not out yet.   It has alot of stories on there and is a place you can express yourself. 

First Question - Relationship Compromises?

Dear Mr Jamison:

I love my boyfriend and we have been together 3 months and I love him to death but sometimes I feel like he doesn't pay me enough attention.  Does he love me?  How can I tell?

"Well I must say that I have definitely been in your position before.  First of all you have to realize that there are two different types of people.  The first kind will sneak around to get what they want.  The second kind will get rid of something if they don't want it anymore.  They are up front about everything.

You need to ask yourself from a non-biased opinion if you think he truly loves you.  Maybe try just bluntly asking him if he is happy with you and wants to be with you.  Generally that will get you a relatively honest answer but you also have to prepare yourself for an answer either way it may go.  Never go in expecting anything because you can project your feelings and expectations on them.  I know in my relationship I have often felt unloved or unappreciated but then I realized that if he didn't want to be with me then he wouldn't be here right now.  A lot of it is in your head.

Another thing I would like to say is make sure you make the decision on your own.  Although it can be a good thing to go to your friends for advice be aware of how often you go to them and the picture you are painting over all.  Make sure you give an even picture of the good and the bad, not just the ones that are overcoming you right now.

I hope this little bit helps you out!  And email me and let me know how things go for you!

Mr. Jamison

Disclaimer

I also want to put a quick disclaimer on here.  Any advice given is not professional advice.  It is advice given through the experiences that myself or those I confide in have shared with me.  Anyone associated with this blog may not be held responsible for any damages or liabilities incurred in relations to adivice given.  Advice is merely an opinion.

Brand New Blog

Welcome to my blog! My first entry is to explain a little bit about this blog and myself.  First of all my name is Josh and I decided to start this blog for a few reasons.  The first reason is ultimately outreach towards members of the LGBTQI community.  I have always been a person that my friends go to for advice and I have gone through alot in my 22 years of existance on this planet.  The second reason is I love writing and have always loved to write about my experiences and about others.  I feel that providing this blog for members of the LGBTQI community (And even our straight allies) will give an open forum and resource for members of all walks in the community.  In the Queer community we lack a unity between the Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgendered, Intersex, and Queer members.  We segregate ourselves by our own accord and one goal of this blog is to show that all of us have issues and that all of us are going through the same things on a daily basis.  We are all different but that difference is what makes us all the same.

Now a little bit about myself.  My name is Josh and I have a wonderful partner of 2 years and we are happily in a committed relationship.  I have been out for 7 years now, completed 2 1/2 years of college, managed a nationwide Real Estate company, volunteered at numerous LGBT clinics, outreach groups, educational groups, as well as safer sex education.  I have a passion for helping other people and love to make a difference in people's life.

Now onto the good part.  You know a little bit about me and why I created this blog and so now I am going to give you the email address for any questions you may have.  I am going to commit to answer the questions posed daily (M-F and most weekends).  Remember all subjects are accepted and no question will go unanswered.  Thank you for your support and feel free to visit some of our sponsors!

-Josh